The genius of emphysema

6 Jan

I found this picture on another site.

Since the type in this picture is so small, allow me to share the genius of this ad. Keep in mind, I’ve painstakingly copied it word for word from the picture:

Instead of eating between meals…instead of fattening sweets…beautiful women keep youthful slenderness these days by smoking Luckies. The smartest and loveliest women of the modern stage take this means of keeping slender…when others nibble fattening sweets, they light a Lucky.”

The next paragraph is about how Luckies are deliciously toasted, extra processed and use the finest tobacco in all the land. And the must see line from paragraph 2:

That’s why there’s real health in Lucky Strike.

Then of course, throw in some doctor’s opinions for good measure:

For years this has been no secret to those men who keep fit and trim. They know that Luckies steady their nerves and do not harm their physical condition. They know that Lucky Strike is the favorite cigarette of many prominent athletes, who must keep in good shape. They respect the opinions of 20,679 physicians who maintain that Luckies are less irritating to the throat than other cigarettes.

And to close the deal:

So, for moderation’s sake, we say:- REACH FOR A LUCKY INSTEAD OF A SWEET.

I’m sold. Who am I to argue with the 20,679 physicians? Hell, if it’s good enough for athletes, it’s good enough for me. And I really do want to be youthfully slender. On the other hand, hacking up a lung is not so sexy. No wait- according to the ad, “No throat irritation-No cough” YES!!! I knew that smoking would eventually pay off. Emphysema? Pfft. Not for one of the smartest and loveliest women (which I totally am because I smoke like chimney). See, that’s obviously my problem. I haven’t been smoking Lucky Strikes. I’m totally switching brands.

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