This is why I need to move…

9 Jan

From the wtf department.

Yes, that’s a real (or used to be real) Alaskan Brown Bear. You can buy it for $4,000, marked down from $10,000. The heading of the story on the front page of my local newspaper is “Marden’s goes wild”. Ehhh, wtf? Apparently Marden’s has received a shipment of stuffed dead animal carcasses. I need to be a little more specific with this, because earlier this morning Chris told me that Marden’s was selling “stuffed animals.” I’m thinking, like cuddly, squishy, child’s toy stuffed animals, I in no way ever thought he meant dead animal carcasses. If I had, I probably wouldn’t have been such a smart ass with my, “aww you want one?” comment. Suffice it say, he does not want one. Anyway, I was looking online at the local paper, and saw that beast staring back at me. And apparently, according to the article, you can also buy “a buffalo head with black horns for $249, reduced from $2,499; and a Dall sheep with curly horns for $5,000, regularly $19,000, according to the price tag.” Well, isn’t that lucky. And if that’s not enough, “We have an elk, a coyote, a wildebeest, caribou, a deer — and there are some exotic ones over there”. Sigh. Now I don’t want to point and laugh at my neighbors, but I can’t ignore this: “Look at the eyes on this one,” he said. “He was not a happy camper when they shot him.” No shit? Seriously? *points and laughs*

Let’s forget for a second that I think taxidermy is one of the grossest things on the planet, and let’s ignore the fact that these animals are for sale in a discount warehouse store, let’s ignore the fact that some wanna-be-Sarah-Palin-hunter-extraordinaire is going to buy this for their HOUSE (to which I hope I never get invited), the fact still remains that Maine is home to some backwoods crazies. It’s no damn wonder people think we’re a bunch of hicks with stuffed animal carcasses for sale in the local store and plaid passing for couture in this state.

Here’s the link to the story, just in case you thought I was making it up.

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