Working the guilt angle

26 Feb

When I was a kid, I was so excited for my birthday. I did a daily countdown, pretty much reminding anyone who would listen that it was MY birthday. For the past 3 or 4 years, I wasn’t like that all. I was very much leave me the hell alone, I’m not ready to be old. But I found that kind of approach really limits my ability to get what I want. For instance, my birthday this year will be spent at a cheering competition (big surprise, right?), but that’s ok, because I support my kid and all that. But because I “have to spend the day at a cheering competition, I don’t even get a real birthday”, I said I wanted to go to Outback for a steak the size of my head (seriously the size of my head, their steaks are ginormous and freaking awesome). Chris was like, Outback, that’s really pricey. And then I’m all, but that’s what I REALLY want for my birthday, and I have to spend the day at a cheering competition, I don’t even get a real birthday (cue whiny voice). We’re going to Outback.

So far I’ve been able to score some pretty sweet stuff, because I’m either great at birthday guilt or he has a mistress on the side that the feels guilty about: A brand new camera (but baby, I REALLY want it for my birthday, and I never get anything), an Ed Hardy shirt (but baby, I REALLY want it for my birthday, and how often do I get new clothes?), and $28 mascara–now this one a little was harder to justify. He was all, that’s friggin insane, what the hell is in it that makes it $28? And I was like, well it’s called Yves Saint Laurent Effet Faux Cils. It’s French. I think I threw him off with the French because he was all, what the hell does that mean? I was like, I have no idea, but it’s YSL and French, so it must be good, right? And I just know that this would make me feel like I look better, and that will make me feel better about turning 30, and you know I’m really struggling with it. And honestly, how can you say no to that? It came in the mail yesterday from Sephora–and it really does kick ass, totally worth $28. Now you’re probably thinking, what a greedy bitch, but it’s not really like that…ok it is. But I’m completely unapologetic. Honestly, your birthday only comes once a year, why not capitalize on it? I also figure if on the off chance this isn’t just birthday gift-giving guilt, and Chris really does have a mistress, I’m going to be able to get that Jeep I’ve had my eye on…

P.S. Apparently because of all the economy crap, people have actually found freaking Manolos at Goodwill (or so says Politco’s Political Playbook). Seriously. I’ll be cruising Goodwill from now on.
P.P.S. Effet Faux Cils means false eyelash effect, or so says the babelfish translator.


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