Truly, truly outrageous

16 Jun

The other day the kids were outside, enjoying one of the rare sunny days we’ve had lately. It’s been raining so long, I’ve actually been keeping my eyes open for any old men building very large boats, or animals marching two-by-two down the street, but I digress. So the kids are outside, and it’s a rare opportunity for Chris and I to watch t.v. Normally, we’d watch something that we don’t watch around the kids, you know the good shows, with lots of sex, violence and explosions, pretty much anything on Fox. This day though, as much as I tried, I couldn’t stop watching the Disney Channel, Hannah Montana to be specific. Now I’ve talked some trash when it comes to Hannah Montana taking over my ipod, or the uncanny likeness of her love interest and Johnny of the Cobra Kai, and I’d like to do the same here, but I can’t. I sat there for not one episode, but two. I didn’t move, I was absolutely riveted. It was a little obnoxious and annoying, and I did laugh out loud a couple of times, but no matter how much I tried to bring myself to change the channel, I couldn’t do it. It was about 5 minutes into the second episode when I gasped in horror, this is JUST like Jem! Jem? Truly, truly outrageous? Kick ass 80’s cartoon? Don’t pretend you don’t remember Jem.

Jem was a rockstar with pink hair, and was the lead singer of a band called the Holograms. She had an alter ego, the sweet, girl next door, Jerrica. She turned into Jem through magic/technological advancements/holographic awesomeness. But no one knew that Jerrica was Jem, and she had to keep her secret at all costs. Jerrica was always torn between being “herself” and being Jem. Sound like any other “secret pop star” you may have heard of? *cough* Miley Cyrus *cough* Hannah Montana. The only difference is Hannah Montana’s power is in her blonde wig, and Jem’s power was in the super kick ass earrings (show time Synergy!). Hannah Montana has to deal with rival popstars who want steal her fame. I can’t remember the girl’s name, but she had a ridiculously high pitched, nasaly voice that sounded like someone dragging their fingers down a chalkboard. Jem of course had The Misfits, who bordered on a little scary.

I know, I know. You think I’m a. insane, or b. have been hitting the margaritas a little too hard. Actually, either could be true…but that’s besides the point. Jem is totally Hannah Montana. And what annoys me the most about it isn’t that the clever people at Disney recycled the best 80’s cartoon ever, or even that my kids look at me like I’m crazy when I hold onto my ear and yell, “show time Synergy!” when it’s time to get ready. What really annoys me is that I didn’t think of it first. I mean, this was my favorite, favorite t.v. show ever. I really should’ve thought of re-doing it. I mean, if they can redo Transformers and make a zillion dollars, I totally could’ve redone Jem.

The kids didn’t believe me when I told them how awesome Jem was. Then I showed them this.

How can you argue with that?


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