Damn, I left my cat ears at home

22 Jun

On Saturday, we went to the mall. I love, love, love shopping and Chris doesn’t often take me to the mall. Something about me and a mall full of retail store just sends Scrooge McDuck into a wild wallet-locking frenzy. So I suggested to Jason that perhaps HE’D like to go the mall, and of course Chris couldn’t say no. We had a great time, I shopped the MAC counter at Macy’s, which is like a little piece of heaven, and of course Kat had a ball in the Rainbow Brite On Acid store, otherwise known as Justice (formerly Limited Too). But seriously I felt about 112 by the time the day was over. It was ridiculous.

We were in Best Buy when this parade of club kid-looking teenagers came in, and I had everything I could do not to laugh and point/stare with a gaping mouth. They were apparently dressed up like Japanese anime characters (or so Chris and Jason said), but I think they were on something. I’m not trying to be judgemental or anything (ok, maybe I am a little), but they were full on freaks. For instance, this girl had on black fishnet tights, knee high lace up boots, a black and pink tutu, a corset and wings. Like wings like you’d imagine a little girl wearing on Halloween when she dressed up like Tinkerbell, only this chick’s wings were black. She was like Tinkerbell from hell. Several of these people were wearing ears, like cat’s ears. There were people in floor-length capes with white painted faces, vampire looking people and one guy dressed up like Aladdin, complete with a stuffed monkey on his shoulder. And it’s not like we were at some comic book convention, or a video game store, we were in the fucking mall. They were just shopping around, pretending like they were just in jeans and a t-shirt, like they weren’t totally freaking all the other people in the mall out. Like, oh yes, these are my cat ears, they’re very normal and I always dress like this. It was crazy. Who dresses like that and says, I know we’re all dressed up in our anime garb, but let’s go to the mall! I could totally go for a pretzel!

So then we went to Hot Topic, which is this/punk/goth/I’m trying to be a rebel to piss my parents off store. Really, the only saving grace that store has was a Ramones t-shirt that we bought for Davey. They had this music, and I use the term loosely, playing so loud you had to yell to talk to anyone, and the “singer” was just screaming. I guess it was like thrash metal or something, but it was even more obnoxious than that. On top of that, there were these 2 kids, couldn’t have been more than 15 or 16, and they were going on about “classic rock”. One kid was like, oh totally, Shout at the Devil is a good one, but I prefer a real classic like Girls, Girls, Girls. Now, in case you didn’t grow up with the best music ever made (80’s hair bands) these young men were talking about Motley Crue, one of my favorite bands ever. Anyway, the other guy was like, yeah, I took my mom to a Crue concert, it’s a little old for my taste, but it’s pretty good for classic rock. Hello? Classic rock? Led Zeppelin? Lynyrd Skynyrd? The Who? Jimi Hendrix? Cream? THAT’S classic rock. The first tape I ever bought was Motley Crue, Dr. Feelgood. I assure you, if I bought that when I was like 10, there’s NO way that’s classic rock. Granted I bought it on tape because cd’s were almost unheard of at that time, but that’s hardly the point. That’s not classic rock, because I can’t possibly be that old. And yes, the faux thrash metal was very offensive to my ears, but that’s not a sign I’m old either. Shut the hell up or I’ll beat you with my cane.

So between the freaks on parade and my startling realization that 30 is hella old, I went back to the MAC counter and tried to get some anti-aging cream. The douche bag clerk recommended botox.

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