Drunk in the trunk

25 Jun

Last night we were on the way to our church’s block party and we passed my tailor’s, whose shop is right next to the Nascar collectible shop. My tailor is this little old French lady, who has to be like 93, and she is so, so good, and uber cheap. She has the dinkiest little shop, not that you could even see it from the road because it’s totally dwarfed by the 5 foot day-glo orange lettering advertising the NASCAR collectible store’s sign. Which is either totally ghetto or totally country, I’m not sure which. Anyway, we’re driving along, and Davey starts singing this song, at first I couldn’t make out the words, and then Kat lets out a squeal and hits Davey in the arm. Kat yells at him, I don’t have drunk in the trunk! Davey bursts out laughing and starts singing louder, his song now completely clear, “junk in the trunk, junk in the trunk”. Over and over and over. Chris and I look at each other, trying not to laugh, and I’m like, David, do you even know what that means? He’s like, yeah, it means you’ve got junk in your trunk. I’m like, yeah, and what does that mean? He goes, like JUNK in your butt. Then Chris says, and junk would be…? Davey gets the most serious look on his face and says, poop. It means you have poop in your butt. Once Chris and I stopped laughing enough to be able to speak, we were like, uh no, buddy. That’s really NOT what it means.

So we’re kinda semi-horrified at 1. Why he would ever say “junk in the trunk”, 2. Why on earth he would think that meant you have poop in your butt, and 3. Why Kat though he said drunk in the trunk. The only thing I can figure is, it is summer vacation, and since it’s been raining, they’ve been stuck inside with a lot of t.v. I completely blame it on the Disney Channel, I think he picked it from there. It’s those damn High School Musical kids, they’re a bad influence with all that singing and dancing. He probably thinks it’s talking about poop because, well, that’s what Davey does. He’s a gross little boy who thinks everything is about poop, boogers, dirt and bugs, but hey, what 9-year old boy doesn’t, right? The last one is a bit more perplexing. Granted, I’ve been drunk in a trunk, but that was a long, long time ago, and certainly I didn’t share that little tidbit with Kat. I think 9 may be a tad young to hear stories of my drunken debauchery days. So I can’t figure it out at all, so I’m like, Kat, why would you think he said drunk in the trunk? And she says (in her new super annoying valley-girl voice that she also no doubt picked up from the Disney Channel), well, I didn’t think he’d be talking about poop. I mean, as IF anyone would say that. That’s GROSS. Fair enough.

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