100 things for the 100th post

15 Jul

So this is it. My 100th post. Isn’t it exciting and great excuse to drink a margarita? Yes, I think so too. Ok so, apparently I’m not supposed to bore you with an actual post, I’m supposed to tell 100 things you didn’t know about me, or did know but want to hear again…I don’t know, I’m not really clear on the guidelines, so we’ll just wing it. Here we go.

100. I can’t wink with my right eye, only my left.

99. My right eye is retarded and won’t stay closed.

98. I’m allergic to artificial cinnamon, like the kind in Big Red gum.

97. It makes my throat close up.

96. Once I peed my pants in the Maine State Museum.

95. I was 13.

94. I got a 910 on my SATs.

93. I’m really, really bad at math.

92. I still count on my fingers when adding.

91. My first concert was White Zombie and Pantera.

90. I didn’t have tickets, I snuck in with my boyfriend.

89. I’ve never left the country.

88. Not even to Canada which is like 50 miles away from me.

87. I met my husband online.

86. I dance like Napoleon Dynamite.

85. In public.

84. I sing like a bag of cats being beaten against a wall.

83. My first tape was Guns N Roses, Appetite for Destruction.

82. I love Post-It notes.

81. I’ve had a spinal tap.

80. It really, really hurt.

79. I voted for George Bush.

78. Twice.

77. When I get my period my feet swell up, Shrek-size.

76. If I was a boy, my mom was going to name me Trent.

75. My mom hates me and was hell bent on giving me a crap name.

74. She says my name was from a movie that she “loved”.

73. She can’t remember the name of it.

72. I think she’s trying to make herself feel better for naming her daughter Merritt.

71. I can’t play board games with my children because I obsessively cheat.

70. I hate losing.

69. Even to my own children.

68. But I punish them for being poor sports when they cheat.

67. My monthly Diet Coke intake would fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool.

66. I don’t watch American Idol.

65. My favorite day is Groundhog Day (February 2).

64. I have no reason for this other than it kind of caught on in junior high when I was working out how to best rebel against society.

63. Clearly, Groundhog Day is reserved for the true rebels among us.

62. I almost passed out on a roller coaster I was so scared.

61. They park took a video of the ride, and people were standing around laughing and pointing at the monitors showing the screaming/crying/nearly dead girl (me) on the roller coaster.

60. The guy selling the video said it was already big hit.

59. I didn’t buy a copy.

57. I got hit by a car when I was 6 while I was delivering Girl Scout cookies.

56. Chris says that’s the most awesome thing he’s ever heard.

55. I have 3 tattoos.

54. A sun on my shoulder, a vine around my ankle, and the Chinese symbol for tranquility on my wrist.

53. The tattoo around my ankle is one of my biggest regrets.

52. I know all the words to the movie A Few Good Men.

51. Even the “You can’t handle the truth!” speech.

50. My favorite line is, “don’t I feel like the fucking asshole.”

49. Once I accidently started a fire on the floor board of my car.

48. While I was driving.

47. I never, ever liked New Kids on the Block.

46. Even though everyone I knew loved them.

45. The Christmas that everyone got the New Kids on the Block tape, I got the Dr. Feelgood (Motley Crue) tape.

44. When I eat ice cream, I have to flip the spoon upside in my mouth.

43. I also can’t let food touch my lips.

42. Once at Easter dinner, I told my family that my favorite word was clitoris.

41. My grandmother thought it was funny.

40. My mother was horrified.

39. My least favorite word is moist.

38. When I was pregnant almost all I ever ate was Vienna sausages and Slim Jims.

37. That probably had something to do with gaining 80 lbs during my pregnancy.

36. I used to be a vegetarian.

35. I love steak.

34. Rare. The bloodier, the better.

33. I was a really bad vegetarian.

32. When my brother was a baby, I pulled him off the changing table by his arm to see what would happen.

31. He cried.

30. I don’t separate my whites from darks when I do laundry.

29. I hate lima beans.

28. My date to the prom was gay.

27. I didn’t know he was gay at the time.

26. Even though I probably should’ve because he had more sparkles on than I did, it just never occurred to me.

25. Now that I think of it, my date to homecoming was also gay.

24. I didn’t know he was gay either.

23. They were two of the best dates I’ve ever had.

22. I eat mayonnaise on my French fries.

21. I used to “play” the cello in the orchestra.

20. But I didn’t really know how to play it.

19. I was just a good bullshitter and knew just enough to get by.

18. I also tried to play the flute.

17. I couldn’t fake that one as well, and the teacher kicked me out for faking.

16. I had a pierced belly button.

15. I let my boyfriend do it with a needle, a lighter and tequila.

14. It got infected and I had to take it out.

13. I kissed a girl.

12. I’ve never had a cavity.

11. My favorite flavor of anything is red.

10. Popsicles, Kool-Aid, lollipops, gum, anything.

9. I suck at retelling jokes.

8. It’s a lot harder than you’d think to come up 100 things to say about yourself.

7. I’m totally not doing this for the 200th post.

6. I just realized this isn’t the 100th post.

5. It’s actually the 101st.

4. Because apparently I really can’t count.

3. I’m not doing an extra thing to make 101.

2. I’m a rebel like that.

1. Or just lazy.

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