Fragments

30 Jul

Friday again, another installment of fragments. I’d love to say that this week just flew by, but it really didn’t. It really, really didn’t.

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Coolest saying ever: nuggets of wisdom. It reminds me of poop. If wisdom was poop, or if nuggets meant poop, I don’t know. Nevermind. Made more sense in my head.

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Every August, Davey goes to football camp. It’s run by the high school football coach (who incidentally was the coach and gym teacher when I was in high school). David looks forward to this camp all spring and summer long. Well, there was a message on the answering machine, they’d cancelled it. Didn’t say why. The poor kid is heartbroken. The lady who called said, in lieu of football camp, we’re willing to offer you a free week at the outdoors camp. Ok, first off lady, it isn’t free. I already paid my $100. Second, “in lieu of” a stupid saying. Third, outdoor camp and football camp are so not the same thing. Now look what you made him do.

It’s a sign he made. Supper bumed. Poor kid is so distraught he can’t even spell. I think he was going for super bummed. I’m also not sure why the P on the guys’ chest is backwards. Might have to check into that.

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Actual conversation via text message:

Me: Do I make you happy?

Chris: Of course you do.

Me: What if I had an unfortunate accident with a wood chipper and I lost the bottom half of my body, and we could never have sex again. Would I still make you happy?

Chris: In the unlikely event that you were critically injured in a wood chipper accident, yes, you’d still make me happy.

Me: What if I had to talk around on my hands? Or pull my torso behind me?

Chris: Yes. I would still be eternally grateful that I was with you.

Me: What if I had to use my chin to walk because the wood chipper gave me gangrene and I had to have my arms cut off and I inched around like a caterpillar?

Chris: In that incredibly morbid event, I would still be happy. Not happy that you were a human inch worm, but happy to be with you.

Me: Ok good. Just checking.

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I spent some time going through my archives this week, fixing old links, making sure everything was pretty and all cleaned up. If you notice that I missed something or something is not working, let me know, granted I may tell you go to hell, but that’s a risk we’re gonna have to take. If you’re interested in going down the rabbit hole a little further check them out. It’s kind of interesting to see how I used to try to be a good little mommy blogger. I even tried the no swearing policy. Then it went to shit and I decided to stop trying to be something I’m not. I went back and tried to change all the “fricking” and “friggin” to fucking, because c’mon. Who am I trying to kid?

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How was your week?

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Check out more Friday Fragments with Mrs4444.

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