Where’s Dr. Phil when you really need him?

25 Sep

The last couple of days have been crazy. We decided that we were done messing around, that June was too far away and that we REALLY hate being cold. We want to move in January. I think we’re really close to finding the right house. I hesitate to say too much, because I don’t want to jinx it. If I believed in jinxes, which I don’t, but you know what I mean. I promise, as soon as I know anything for sure, I’ll share it with you guys.

Anyway, since we’re really trying to involve the kids in all this, I talked to them about moving early, which they were both totally fine with. Davey poured over the different listings, scanning each picture, weighing the pros and cons, being very methodical (sounds like anyone you know?), Kat on the other hand was like, which ones have pools? I showed her. She says, Yeah. It should have a pool. As long as it has a pool and I have a pink room, I’m happy. With that she fluttered out of the room in her “I’m a princess way”. Everything seemed to be ok, they were excited. Then last night, Davey says, I’m tired. I think I’m just going to go to bed. It was like 7:30. I knew immediately something was up. So I pushed a little bit and was like, c’mon buddy, what’s going on? Then he burst into tears and starts talking about how he’s scared to move because no one will want to be friends with him, how he’s different than the other kids, how sometimes all he wants is to be one of the popular kids, how he doesn’t understand why the other boys walk away when he’s talking to them…on and on. My heart broke in a million pieces.

Davey has always marched to the beat of his own drummer. He’s not like other kids. He’s ridiculously smart, he’s funny, witty, and in my opinion, pretty damn cool. I think that’s a great thing, but for him it’s starting to be a problem. His ongoing anxiety issues don’t help anything and I really, really don’t want to put him on medication again. I told him that he’s special the way that he is and that I admire him for not being ashamed of being who he is, but that giving the other kids a chance wouldn’t be so bad. I suggested that maybe he try to play kickball or football with them at recess and give them a chance, maybe they’d give him a chance. So what’s a mom to do? Do I tell him to let his freak flag fly? Do I tell him that it doesn’t matter what other kids think? Can I tell him that his anxiety is holding him back without sending him into an anxiety attack? Do I tell him not to bother trying to play with the other kids because they can be so judgemental and stupid? Do I shelter him or should I be honest? To make matters worse, Kat is pretty popular which only makes David feel worse.

This morning David was better. Still a little hesitant, but said he would try to make more of an effort to be included. Did I do the right thing telling him to try harder? This is my baby we’re talking about…help me internet!

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