Logic just can’t trump cupcakes

29 Sep

Yesterday Chris and I were grocery shopping in Wal-Mart (which I really hate to do because it takes 73 hours) and I realized that our cart was overflowing. We had a smorgasbord of crap. Chris and I grocery shop like our parents are gone for the weekend.

We completely walked right by the fruits and vegetables, well, we did buy a bag of apples, so that’s a little redeeming, but generally, if it doesn’t come in a can, or isn’t of the corn or French style green bean variety, we’re really not interested. We made a bee-line for the bakery. I was like, ooo, cupcakes! Have you ever had their cupcakes? SO, SO good. Anyway, I’m standing in front of the cupcakes which all have a little plastic ring thing on them, because apparently Wal-Mart thinks that children and not adults eat cupcakes, and I start to grab the cupcakes on top, which happened to be Hannah Montana. Chris says, I don’t want Hannah Montana cupcakes. I’m like, they’re all chocolate, it’s just the ring on top that’s different. He says, no, I don’t want to have stupid cupcakes, I want good ones. So he made me dig all the way in the back for Transformer cupcakes. Mind you that we don’t keep the ring, we take it off and throw it away, we don’t even give it to the kids, but damnit, he doesn’t want stupid cupcakes, he wants Transformer cupcakes! Whatever dude, don’t ever say that I’m anal.

So after we’ve found suitable cupcakes, we hit the cereal aisle. When I see the best cereal on the planet is back I let a squeal and bump into a lady as dive toward the shelf. Count Chocula. Which by the way, I wish they’d stop only making it during Halloween season. It’s the best cereal ever with its little chocolate bats and marshmallow ghosts. Once fall is over and I know that they’re going to stop selling it soon, I buy literally about 10 boxes, it makes me so sad that I can’t buy it year-round (General Mills are you listening?). Chris got Captain Crunch, some special one that turns the milk green, which is a little cool and a little gross at the same time. We loaded up on Diet Coke, I bought a can of Vienna sausages and a bunch of other crap I can’t even remember, which is sad because it came to $143.

The most ridiculous thing about all this is, I don’t let the kids eat any of that crap. They don’t eat cookies and cupcakes or sugary cereal. I try to make them eat a balanced diet. It’s for me and Chris. It’s really not surprising that we have what doctors like to call a little bit of a weight problem. And before you tell me that I should set a better example, save it, I’m not interested. Don’t use your logic on me, we’re talking cupcakes and Count Chocula here. How can you even argue with that?

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