so it’s not perfect…

4 Jun

Unfortunately yesterday wasn’t a “before and after” day. Yesterday was more of a “sleep all day and be lazy day.” The bathroom is still not done, but it’s close. Maybe tomorrow (fingers crossed!). Yesterday was also a “have an epiphany day.” I’ve been talking a lot with Chris lately about how frustrated I’ve been with the house. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love it. But I’m exhausted. I have spent nearly every waking hour trying to perfect every corner of this house. I look at catalogs and magazines and try to duplicate what I see on their glossy, perfect pages. It’s just not working, not for lack of trying, but there’s just something missing.

Chris (in his “I’m saying this as nicely as possible so you don’t hate me” manner) told me that maybe it wasn’t working because I was trying too hard. At first I was really, REALLY offended. How could he be so nonchalant? Didn’t he understand that I was trying to make our little house into the perfect cottage? But the more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right, as much as it pains me to say. In striving for the “perfect cottage”, I got so lost in mimicking someone else’s vision of cottage, that I lost my own vision. The reason I wanted to make the cottage vibe in our home was because I love the feeling of a cottage. To me, cottage means, comfortable, easy, unassuming. It’s a kind of relax and just chill out vibe. It reminds me of being a kid at my grandparent’s summer place, it just makes me feel like home. The fact that I wasn’t capturing that was maddening. And Chris was right, I was trying too hard. You can’t perfect a vision that isn’t even your own.

This is our first home, and I’m learning as I go. The biggest lesson so far? So it’s not perfect…but maybe, it’s just right. It’s a lesson that I need to remember not just about our home, but also about life in general.

I want to reflect who we really are, and we’re not perfect, and that’s just fine by me.

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One Response to “so it’s not perfect…”

  1. Maquel June 4, 2010 at 8:15 am #

    Great insight Merritt! (even if you had to be kicked in the arse by your loving hubby!!) 🙂 May you find all the comfort you need in your new home, whatever you may make of it!!!

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